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Post by Lyra d'Aiglemort on Aug 13, 2021 16:29:50 GMT -8
Returning Meridi’s curiosity with a shrug made Lyra acutely aware of how silly she must seem. “Hm – I’m not sure. I haven’t had to look at any yet, but hopefully, I will soon. Mostly I go get reports from people and summarize their work and make sure other people know what happened and so forth.”
Her smile returned. Lyra couldn’t say for certain what her job title meant but she did enjoy working.
“I think they sent me to France because I was the only person who spoke French and wasn’t busy with another project.”
She didn’t mind. Lyra had never been to France before, though Yael talked about it often. It felt odd to look around at all these specific things – the curve of the table, the deep purple of the flowers near the curb, the murmur of a world set to French, and to think she was in another country. Tomorrow she would be back in the US and it would be as if she’d never left.
All these things would go on existing and only at this moment did they truly feel real.
Lyra wondered if Meridi felt that way too, with her family far away, and the future uncertain.
She rested her chin on her hands, leaning forward slightly so that the sunlight that filtered past the tall buildings could warm her skin. Lyra wondered what Father was doing right now. Whether he would tell her it was her sentimental nature that brought up such thoughts.
“Is it hard?” Lyra looked up at Meridi, missing the moment where she should have laughed. “Wandering by yourself?”
"I'm not sure I could do that. I wouldn't know what to do with myself."
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Post by Meridith Sheppard on Aug 13, 2021 18:53:09 GMT -8
Meridith nodded and kept her thoughts to herself this time. Didn't the mail service exist? Hm! Either her job was extremely extraneous and they weren't making good use of her, or, she had a lot more hidden beneath the surface! Sending someone all the way to Paris to pick up a couple of reports? She wished she took a moment to look at them when she had the chance! Lyra certainly seemed to think they were important, but, she seemed the kind of person to take any task you gave her and treat it as if it were life and death.
She leaned back and watched Lyra bask in the sun and dragged her gaze up the sky. Less than an hour ago she nearly died, and who was the person sitting here now? Not that Meridith. Some other Meridith. Maybe a better one. Hopefully.
She smiled at that thought, pulled out of her momentary reflection by the question. She turned back to Lyra and regarded the question seriously. Could she trust Lyra? She supposed it didn't matter if she could, only that she did.
"It was harder not to," she replied simply. "I'm probably going to get in a lot of trouble someday for doing it but..." She shrugged helplessly. "It's hard to see everything going on in the world, and knowing I could probably be doing something about it and not doing it. I don't think there is anything else I could have done that wouldn't have made me feel like I was living some kind of mistake."
She smiled warmly and regarded Lyra seriously before adding, "I think that's it's better to not feel like that. Maybe that means you found your purpose too."
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Post by Lyra d'Aiglemort on Aug 14, 2021 8:24:55 GMT -8
Lyra blinked. The sun shifted and she blinked again, rapidly, ducking down slightly to avoid where the beam had shifted but not pulling back. It felt nice -- this warmth, not too hot. She'd forgotten what that was like. Sitting outside without anything in particular to do or think about.
"Living some kind of mistake?" She repeated back, brow furrowed. Of course Lyra understood the feeling -- how much it twisted up your insides to not *know* if you were doing the right thing. If you had made the right choice. That was why she was so lucky not to have to make decisions very often. Left to her own devices Lyra rarely picked correctly.
She brushed curls off her face, tucking them behind one ear with her fingers lingering, luxuriating in how hot her hair felt in comparison to the rest of her. "If you're going to get in trouble doesn't that mean you're making a mistake?" Lyra asked this calmly, unaware of how it could be perceived.
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Post by Meridith Sheppard on Aug 14, 2021 8:41:09 GMT -8
That was a good question, wasn't it? Meridith smiled and looked away from Lyra's gaze held her chin in her hand and drew a lazy shape with her pinky on the table. She was going to get in trouble, wasn't she? A Hollow might get her, or a Shinigami, or her Family might find her. What would do they? They'd probably take her power from her, that was the law right? That was the threat made. Not to her of course, but she heard the story's, a general warning. Quincy who endangered the tribe through misuse of their power would have their power taken from them. However, they'd do that.
If they ever thought she might actually leave they wouldn't have threatened her, she'd have never gotten her chance. She used their love and their trust to make her escape. Maybe that would be worse, looking at the disappointment in their eyes and knowing that she had failed them.
But this thought wasn't new to her, and it wasn't like she hadn't spent ages thinking of those exact things. She made her peace, kind of. All she could hope to do at this point was prove herself right to them.
"It's scary to do something knowing you might get in trouble for it. But," she said with a pause as she leaned off her hand and looked back up to Lyra. "In this case, it outweighs the risks. Other people might disagree but if something is the right thing to do then you have to do it anyway. No matter what other people might do. Right?"
It wasn't a question of whether or not Meridith was right, it was 'you understand, don't you?'
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Post by Lyra d'Aiglemort on Aug 14, 2021 9:23:19 GMT -8
Lyra had years worth of experience controlling the muscles in her face. Body language was a useful thing. Most people lied verbally, some mastered lying with their faces, and very very rarely an individual understood how much the body told and how intuitively the message was received. Schooling your expression was more noticeable than reacting. It was a bright blinking sign that you were hiding something.
There were people in this universe who could do that -- who could show the world they had secrets and then fend off any attempts to break down those walls. Lyra wasn't one of those people. She couldn't imagine being like that. Going around so confident, as if the cost of being found out was low enough to risk.
No -- the only true way to hide something was to give practically everything else up without a fight. That way everyone was satisfied. There was no reason to dig further. Lyra wanted to show her expressions. She wanted people to know that she was honest, that there was no reason to suspect her or her cooperation.
Very occasionally this sincerity failed her and every once and a while Lyra wished she could hold a blank look.
Instead, she stared at Meridi with her eyebrows raised and her face one of intense alarm.
"Are you..." Joking, she meant to say, but the Quincy's expression belied the answer already. No amount of shock and disbelief could change that meaning.
Lyra tried again, swallowing twice just to get her voice back. "How do you know it's the right thing to do if everyone disagrees with you?"
"That's... that's very dangerous, Meridi." Lyra shook her head, curls flying, but this lapse in control was the last thing on Lyra's mind. "That's very dangerous," she said again, softly, alarm transitioning to its far more personal cousin -- concern.
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Post by Meridith Sheppard on Aug 14, 2021 9:39:44 GMT -8
Meridith might not have proven herself to be the most adamant observer of human reaction so far but even she could tell that alarm bells had been ringing. Should she have been a little bit more guarded? No, of course not. That's just wasn't in her nature. So much easier to just be upfront, if people had a problem with that, at least then you'd know right away. But it wasn't like Lyra looked angry about her response, she might have disagreed but what it looked like was something like fear.
She straightened up in her chair slowly and regarded Lyra seriously. Dangerous? Well yes, she would easily admit.
She nods. "Of course, that's why you have to be sure, really sure before you do something that people tell you you shouldn't," she said perhaps a little more defensively than she intended. "It's not something I'd do easily. But if it's something you're really sure of, if it's something that deep down you knew you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't do, then what else can you do but trust yourself." Damn the consequences! Reckless, certainly, but at a certain point you had to just ignore your doubts and just do it.
Didn't you? Meridith was certain but for the first time she was starting to realize that maybe not very many people felt the same.
She looked at Lyra with a certain curious expression. "Haven't you ever had something like that before? Something you were so sure of that you it didn't matter what someone else would say?"
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Post by Lyra d'Aiglemort on Aug 14, 2021 10:15:46 GMT -8
Really sure of? The notion was so absurd that Lyra relaxed almost immediately, her hackles flattening, expression washed clean of all earlier tension. She tilted her head – listening (people wanted to be listened to) and nodded slowly with dawning recognition.
She hadn’t meant to disagree. Only Lyra forgot, momentarily, that main characters like Meridi lived in different worlds. Certainty had to be one of their traits, did it not? How else could they surge forward and paint the landscape with their stories?
It all made sense. The claxon bells of alarm were snuffed, fabric shoved tight to dull any lingering fear – this was okay.
“Not really,” Lyra replied honestly. Her quick return to placid calmness in the face of such apprehension a jolting pivot she seemed not to notice.
Curling her hand on the table, Lyra focused on the sunlight once more, letting it seep through and melt away the ice that had cracked open doors she would rather not move towards. Today was a good day.
“I’m wrong a lot, so I think it’s natural to take that into consideration – it’s best for people like me to listen to those around me. If that many people thought something was right, then the odds are I would be the one in the wrong.”
“But I can see what you mean. If you’re actually certain, if you don’t doubt yourself, then you must be right. I think you’d know it if you weren’t.”
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Post by Meridith Sheppard on Aug 14, 2021 11:08:32 GMT -8
The picture was forming of Meridith's present companion in her mind. Well-meaning. Diligent. Sweet. Something else was becoming more obvious as time went on. But they were strangers were they not? A chance meeting in a cafe a world away from normal. Maybe it was okay to embrace something outside of her comfort? Could she do something further for Lyra? If she was bounding of rooftops to fight invisible monsters perhaps it would be equally acceptable to put herself out there.
Meridith wasn't surprised by the answer now, no, Lyra wouldn't have. She nodded a few times in quick succession and bore a little disappointment for it. But the rest of what Lyra said became harder to bear. For a moment Meridith could see some other-self. A girl who stayed home. Who never left for school. Who was surrounded by people who sought to clip her wings. She could see a girl who never begged to leave on the trip, who never made promises she knew she wouldn't keep.
And it made her so angry.
She stayed silent for a moment, it didn't really show on her face. A moment passed before she spoke up, let the fire die down so her words would merely stoke their embers.
"Lyra, that is absolutely the saddest thing anyone has ever told me." She smiled sadly. "I don't know you very well I guess, but you saved my life today. I don't think there are many other people who exist who would have done what you did and if it had been any of them and not you, I probably wouldn't be here."
"I think you're a lot more than you might think. A person like you who has the right instincts, and a good nature should trust themselves more. Everything I do from this point on, all the good I accomplish for the rest of my days is owed in no small part to your qualities."
"And," the heat found its way into her voice. "Anyone who's played a role in convincing you otherwise, is way more foolish than I've ever been. And I jumped off a building earlier today!"
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Post by Lyra d'Aiglemort on Aug 14, 2021 13:17:58 GMT -8
At first, Lyra matched the smile, automatically reflecting the expression, only to grow hesitant as Meridi’s emotions bled through.
She blinked and struggled not to interrupt, not to wave her hands and exclaim the Quincy had it wrong. Surprise was a sharp blade and sister to confusion. Lyra didn’t understand where this sudden upswell was coming from – but understand or not it pulsed and roared; a maelstrom should she call it so or deny the fact.
Instinct rose in response, smothering Lyra’s defense as easily as the wind tore through sails.
“I see.” Lyra smiled again and her efforts at placating were more normal than the first attempt but no less troubling.
“Thank you for saying that, Meridi. I will consider your point.” She nodded, hands contritely folded in her lap, radiating sincerity.
Lyra would consider it – she had, already – and if it was something that the Quincy felt this strongly about it wasn’t difficult to meet her halfway.
“But don’t worry about me. I’m not sad at all. I have this wonderful job and today I got to meet you. How could this day be any better?”
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Post by Meridith Sheppard on Aug 14, 2021 14:57:00 GMT -8
The heat felt more like passion than fury but the impact might have been either. She marshalled herself and sat back in her chair. Placation. "Don't think too hard on it," she replied warmly, certain of her assessment of Lyra. Whoever had made her think that way about herself was an absolute dummy, and she'd have to find a way to tell them as much some day.
She giggled and smiled bright at the compliment. "Oh don't mistake me, I'm not worried at all. I know you'll sort it out eventually. But if I could help you get there any sooner, well. It's the least I could do for the person who saved me after all."
She met Lyra's gaze for a moment, studied her face and expression and let out a little sigh. Contented. She turned her gaze away, out of the cafe and on. The world was out there, waiting. This quiet little moment, how much longer did it have? She wondered and knew that by thinking it, it couldn't be much longer now.
She turned back. "Oh...! Do you have...well. Please feel free to say no of course, I'd understand. But, do you have a number I could reach you by?" She asked. "I'm between numbers right now but, I'd like to stay in touch, if you'd like."
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Post by Lyra d'Aiglemort on Aug 14, 2021 15:44:58 GMT -8
Meridi was a pleasant person. What a strange way to spend her day -- Lyra was starting to understand why so many people loved Parisian cafes. Perhaps not all of them had experienced a Quincy falling from the sky previous to locating themselves at a cafe, but the experience itself was quite nice.
"Okay," Lyra agreed readily, nodding for good measure. Meridi didn't ask for much. Was that her youth? Lyra had half a notion that as a main character to her story Meridi would be more demanding not less. But that hardly fit the girl in front of her who had been nothing but kind since they met.
"A phone number?" Lyra hummed, drumming her fingers against her thighs. The notion of giving Meridi her home number sent a chill down her spine. She didn't even have to think about it to veto the idea.
No one had ever needed to talk to her specifically before, or if they did they knew Father so the process was streamlined. Maybe she should ask Yael about phones. Work hadn't issued her one but would they have if that was the employee's obligation?
"I can give you my desk number? But I'm out in the field a lot, so you would most likely be leaving a message."
She reached for her briefcase, pulling out a slip of paper and jotting the number and extension down with precise numbers. After a second, she included her name. Business cards took that format. Lyra held it out to Meridi. There was a satisfaction to the process that she couldn't put her finger on. Contentment cool as a cat curling up inside her chest.
That image provoked a momentary pause as Lyra considered the implications of such an impossibility. Maybe this was why she couldn't have pets.
"Here. I don't have a security clearance or anything so I doubt it's monitored."
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Post by Meridith Sheppard on Aug 14, 2021 18:36:22 GMT -8
Meridith leaned forward, curious about the reaction she was seeing unfold in real-time as she asked for the phone number. She had thought to assure Lyra that it was fine if she didn't want to, but she knew it was probably a futile gesture. Yes, she had just met Lyra but sometimes you could just tell something about a person. Meridith could probably ask for the clothes off her back and she'd have a hard time saying no.
Still, too late to take it back right? And besides, she wasn't going to do anything bad with it! She probably shouldn't have blown up her phone though.
"Oh, of course, that'd be fine. Who knows, maybe I'll run into some programs I'll need analyzed while I'm out in the field," she offered cheerily. She was probably joking.
She watched with a giddy kind of silence as Lyra began to write it down. Ooh~ So adult! Exchanging information at a cafe in Paris. Ah. She kept her dignity and reached out for it politely taking it and looking over it with a nod. The handwriting was exactly the way she expected. Without pockets and her bag she took a moment longer to memorize the number before tucking it away in case it got free. Knowing her luck, another monster would show up and she'd lose it in the chaos.
"As soon as I get a number I'll be sure to leave it with you. Not sure where I'll be but if you ever need me, promise you'll reach out and I'll do whatever I can! Promise." She crossed her heart with her thumb and gave a toothy grin.
"Monitored though, sounds so...clandestine. Maybe my secret agent comment was closer than I realized." she teased.
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Post by Lyra d'Aiglemort on Aug 15, 2021 9:02:33 GMT -8
“If you do, please let me know!” Lyra bowed her head, hands clasped before her in open supplication. She wasn’t sure what sort of programs she was supposed to be looking for but surely if Meridi saw something then it would be interesting enough to analyze – and if not, at least then someone would clarify what Lyra had done wrong, and ideally what she should be doing.
That would be good.
Meridi really was a kind person. Lyra’s smile widened unbeknownst to the mortal. She had the strange desire to reach out and touch Meridi – not because she doubted the Quincy was really there – but out of some sudden bubbly feeling filling her chest.
Lyra curled her fingers and resolutely refrained. Focusing on Meridi, the confident way she took Lyra’s ‘business card’, and her lopsided grin, Lyra couldn’t help but to make an ill-advised promise. But who could say no to someone like this?
“I will. I promise. Thank you, Meridi. I’m really glad I got to meet you today.”
Her lips curved up, suddenly sharp and mischievous. “Even if you’re on to my secret identity. I suppose now I shall have to kill you. Pity the Hollow didn’t do its job.”
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Post by Meridith Sheppard on Aug 15, 2021 9:56:40 GMT -8
Lyra was simply too much! It was a joke she wanted to say! but she couldn't bring herself to deflate that earnest look, instead, she guessed, she'd really just have to keep an eye out for 'programs' to 'analyze'? ? ? Whatever that meant! Well she was sure she'd recognize one when she saw it, and besides gave her as good an excuse as any to reach out to her.
She looked over at the wait staff and had the briefest sense of hesitation. Water wasn't enough right? They'd been polite to let them sit there for a bit, maybe because of her injured leg, but, surely they wouldn't just let them enjoy a glass of water forever? They could order something, and then they could talk, and share. Then Meridith could offer to walk her to her flight and it'd be a lovely afternoon!
But. They each had their purposes and she couldn't be too greedy. Besides, it wouldn't be goodbye, not for good!
"Me too Lyra, thank you as well," she replied.
As Lyra's lips curved up suddenly sharp and mischievous Meridith stared at her dumbfounded. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was it possible? All along had she misjudged Lyra? Could she have been so blind?
...
Meridith burst out laughing. "Oh my gosh, Lyra. You said that so perfectly I even doubted it for a second!" She burst into another fit of giggles and shook her head climbing to her feet, pushing out her chair and stretching out once in perfect languid satisfaction.
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Post by Lyra d'Aiglemort on Aug 15, 2021 10:09:19 GMT -8
Lyra preened, looking quite smug with the tables turned. Most of the time no one appreciated her jokes, or realized she was making them -- that was why Lyra usually repeated the ones she'd overheard. It was nice to be successful for once.
She stood as well, her chair scraping against the brickwork. Closing her briefcase, Lyra snapped the buckle shut and tucked it against her side. Catching Meridi's glance she hastened to reassure the Quincy. "Oh! Don't worry. I paid for the waters already."
It was odd to her that they charged for water but in Lyra's travels she had seen that this was quite common in many countries.
Meridi hadn't said anything but the subtext wasn't lost on Lyra. This was goodbye. She wouldn't be able to help Meridi find her bag after all. But perhaps that was all right. Meridi seemed like the sort of girl who would appreciate the accomplishment. And Lyra had to head to the airport soon anyway, just to be doubly sure nothing went wrong with checking in, or that her flight hadn't changed.
No longer self-conscious, Lyra bowed deeply to the other girl. Rising, she tucked curls back behind one ear and offered a last smile. "Thank you for spending your time with me. I hope your journey goes well."
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